Important Ramblings

So, I was just sitting here thinking that maybe I should ramble. I mean, I do it often enough to my mom and certain friends; so why not do it here too? I was just eating my lunch of bratwurst, mac-n-cheese and cheetos, thinking of all things that I COULD be doing, or SHOULD be doing, or HAVE to do in the upcoming month (yeah, nothing beats not having a deadline, so I've got to make ones up for myself). As a healthy distraction, I facebooked my lunchtime away, while my dog begged for my lunch and the cat jumped off the stairs, throwing up promptly on the floor in the hallway, and in one swift movement had jumped into the next room, where who knows what he continued to do. That was 20 minutes ago. I have yet to get up and take care of it, and the dog is waiting patiently for me to do so, as I've already warned him to leave it alone! These are the things that take up my time in a normal day... the things I don't really recount when asked what I've done today, but somehow are the very same unimportant things that really is the bulk of my time spent.

Then there are times (such as Lent we've just completed), that I analyze my life and wonder how I'm going to get to the next stage; how all the things I've wanted to do with my life in some ways have been fulfilled and in other ways are steadily elusive, and the path is confusing to try to mentally configure the future. I suppose that is why we are told to trust in the Lord in Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the LORD upholds him with His hand. " Ps. 37:23-24

So, I suppose the goal here is to be found the good man in His sight. What constitutes a good or righteous man? Well, a lover of good, a person after God's own heart; someone who embodies the beatitudes, who obeys Christ's commandment to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself. There are some who have spent a lifetime accomplishing this, and all I can tell is that I am sure that they struggled, as I, to become truly as Christ is. But their success was acheived only a day at a time; no, more like a moment at a time, a decision at a time. I am finding that I am more painfully aware of every word that proceeds from my mouth.

For those of you who know me well, you are aware of what a biting tongue I truly posses. But that is the key -- it is mine to control, mine to be responsible for, and mine to be accountable to Christ on that dreadfully anticipated last day, as well as the condition of my heart, wherefrom my tongue speaks its evil. The day that we face Christ and He asks, "Why was it more important for you to facebook than to be reading the Scriptures, or better yet, helping someone in need?" That will be the terrible day indeed, when I am shown for what I really am. These types of questions have been haunting me daily, and I have grown quite restless this past year. I have been lonely for the lack of children running under my feet. I have been disorganized, and indecisive. I have become more honest with myself, and therefore more honest in my presentation of myself to Christ, and each day more aware of how much I truly do need Him. I must continually come humbly before to ask for forgiveness, and Lord, PLEASE help me actually DO what is right in your sight!

Then there is another biggie- how I've used the blessings He's given to me and let them become more important than Himself. I cannot allow things or even people to take the place of Christ. Finding the balance between God, the all-consuming fire, and my everyday life is found in this; Let God be Who He Is-- He is the all-consuming fire. And He in me will reach out His love, using my hands to reach those who have no other hand to help them along life's journey. That is the purpose of this life-- to find Christ, to become part of the body of Christ, and to function as the body of Christ- as Saint Patrick so perfectly put in his Breastplate;

I arise today Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity, Through the belief in the threeness, Through confession of the oneness Of the Creator of Creation. I arise today Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism, Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial, Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension, Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of Doom. I arise today Through the strength of the love of Cherubim, In obedience of angels, In the service of archangels, In hope of resurrection to meet with reward, In prayers of patriarchs, In predictions of prophets, In preaching of apostles, In faith of confessors, In innocence of holy virgins, In deeds of righteous men. I arise today Through the strength of heaven: Light of sun, Radiance of moon, Splendor of fire, Speed of lightning, Swiftness of wind, Depth of sea, Stability of earth, Firmness of rock. I arise today Through God's strength to pilot me: God's might to uphold me, God's wisdom to guide me, God's eye to look before me, God's ear to hear me, God's word to speak for me, God's hand to guard me, God's way to lie before me, God's shield to protect me, God's host to save me From snares of devils, From temptations of vices, From everyone who shall wish me ill, Afar and anear, Alone and in multitude. I summon today all these powers between me and those evils, Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul, Against incantations of false prophets, Against black laws of pagandom Against false laws of heretics, Against craft of idolatry, Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards, Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul. Christ to shield me today Against poison, against burning, Against drowning, against wounding, So that there may come to me abundance of reward.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left, Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise, Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me, Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me, Christ in every eye that sees me, Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity, Through belief in the threeness, Through confession of the oneness, Of the Creator of Creation.

In essense, every breath that I take, be it as Christ breathes, every word I speak, may it only be what Christ would speak to another. Not laying up my treasures here on earth, but looking toward heaven, and working towards the goal of eternal life with my Savior. This is the prayer of my heart today, and I pray that it might be so everyday til my dying breath.